Ada,
My heart goes out to you. My husband is 10yrs older so I think alot about how hard it will be for me. He has diabetes, high blood pressure & he is on a cholesterol med too & he has COPD so actually he is more ill than I am. But we are both home as he has been on disability since 89 due to his back. And he may be having back surgery next year. We will find out on 12/21. For him to finally have relief from pain makes me so happy. But with all the other, well I worry alot about him.

I agree also that you should not be afraid to bring Bill up to the boys. I have a feeling that they might have been told not bring Grandpa up unless Grandma does. It will be a part of your & their healing process to speak of Bill I think. I know when my Mom & Dad both passed away I told the kids to speak of them as much as they wanted too. Like with you & Bill always having been their for & with them since they were born, my folks were their for my two children. The 3 people they could always count on to be there for them was Grandma, Grandpa & myself. They were only 8 & 7 yrs old. And we still talk of them. That was in 1985 for Mom & 1993 for my Dad. The strangest thing about that was they died 8 yrs apart BUT on the same day, Oct 27. Anyway it is healthy even if you & they do cry. Crying is healthy. And it also teaches the boys that it is OK to cry.

For me, Christmas was my Mom. She always went all out at the holidays for my kids. And for my brothers boys when they were home for the holidays. So putting up the tree & doing as much the same as possible is GOOD for you & all the kids. I know it is hard for you, but is also good for you.

Many *HUGS* going out to you during this hard time for you.

I sure hope your surgery takes care of the problem you were having. And take care of yourself. I also agree you need to take more time to make any BIG decisions concerning your home. It is just too soon for that.

Please take care of yourself. Be good to you....

Love ya,
DebbyV