It certainly is hard to give up. So many different types of anger too, and can be directed at ourselves or others. I was angry with myself for about 30 years until I finally learned that my anger was misdirected and a lot like you, I seemed to be holding on to it. I think I was doing that to survive too. Heck, I was only 4 when my mum passed away from cancer and a teen when my dad was killed walking across a pedestrian crossing. He'd been through so much in his life and also had been a Prisioner of war for many years in Singapore then on to Burma and Thailand and he made it through it all with a strength I hope I have inherited, ... but in an instant he was gone. YET I blamed myself. Anger again. Weird what our brains can do. I couldn't blame my parents for leaving me so young, so I blamed myself that I'd not done enough, or I had caused it, or I ... etc..
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But I am telling myself it is worth the risk of more pain-to take the anger off and set it aside for a moment so I can feel some more fragile things like memories of happier times or appreciation or even something as simple as goodwill.
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It is worth it you know. It's worth it because holding on to it too long can destroy our health and our lives and to some extent cripple us inside.
What a wonderful post, Sue. Thankyou very much.
