As I said in the wonder thread, I have been sick and haven't been able to see Lynn for 3 whole days!! Now, I am nervous as hell to go see him. What the hell? I WANT to see him!!! I just can't bear the will you stay with me? Can we go home? Accck, rips my heart to pieces.

I have been thinking about this, even had a couple of dreams about it. Not sure if you ever watched the Notebook? Everyone tells me what a wonderful movie that was. How it is so real, and sheds the light on Alzheimer's. It does show some of the hell, but it doesn't begin to cover it.

What ticks me off about this movie is the ending. In a rare "clear" moment, they lay down together, as man and wife. Embracing each other. Then, they both pass away together. Now that makes for a nice fairy tale ending. But, that is not real life.

I laid with Lynn on our last visit. And I begged God, as I have each visit, to just take us both. Didn't happen. He is there lost in his own little world. And I am here, wherever here is, without him