agreed! even if they are not changing the whole dresssing, they should be checking it to be sure its clean, dry and the pic line doesnt look angry or red. Good skin care should be provided at ALL stages of life and death.

As for the SIL, I have a few of those in my family. I find they burn themselves out quickly. normally they show up for a good performance, then I step in and suggest, "I am just gonna sit with her awhile, would you like to go get a cup of coffee, and relax for a bit?" Offer her excuses to be out of the room. "you look tired, perhaps a nap would help you." or "its great that you are here! but for now, there isnt a lot going on. Could you help me by going to the market?" plan things to get her if not out of the room, at least out of the house. She will feel like she is contributing, and perhaps you can use the extra help around the house. Doing dishes is always a blessing. Washing dirty sheets? Sweeping? There is always something that needs doing. Make sure you express gratitude so she will feel good about the next task. Claws out, and hissing and spitting isnt going to help either of you. I know you want to scream, but with some management, perhaps you can redirect her. Just keep track of the many pill bottles, and meds. Tell her that the nurse counts them.