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Thank you to all who have wrote to me with the warmest wishes i am seeing a therpist now and have been. Just very hard i love my son with all my heart and sole he has always been a very careing son to me and helped me in my yard and i may say i had the nicest yard on the block then flowers but now it not much. It hurts so much to know when i do die my son will not be there and for me. To talk about this is very hard people tend to judge on what they know nothing about and can get very ugly i have had people blog very ugly things about my son and me and people i do not even know some people i guess are not happy unless they spout out uglyness and not care what there words are truly doning to a person and how much it chips away at a person a little at a time. Never a day will go by i dont cry and wonder if i will ever get better how i truly do not know when or if i ever get to hug my son.Some people in Palmer ,Alaska went in my sons place and took all his things and made a bon fire out of his stuff so i have really nothing but some pictures and my assit dog he gave to me his name is lucky he is a poodle and means the world to me threw this when i cry he comes up in my face and i just hold him i have had him for about 6 years my son found him in the middle of no where so we named him lucky lucky a bear or wolf pack dident get him and he was matted so very bad you could see his ribs and back bone eyes all matted now he is a spoiled boy and fat! I really hope the State of Alaska keeps my son here we have a max prison in Seward Alaska it will be hard to go to a prison but i will go and visit him. I have a very hard time sleeping at night so my Doctor gave me sleeping pills i do not like takeing them but if i dont i still cant sleep this is like a very bad dream somthing i would never wish on anyone to ever go threw ever in a million years But to all of you that wrote to me the warmest thank you you do not know what it means to have total strangers write such nice careing messages means a lot to me i like this site this is the warmest things that have been said from Dec2 2007 till now once again thank you very much from my heart Sherry