I finally have a moment to reply to all of this. First, my beloved (and I do mean BELOVED) pet rat had a seizure yesterday. I held her in my hands wrapped in a towel for three hours convinced she was dying. She was basically lifeless, but would wake up only occasionally for me to tell her I was there and then would fall unconscious again. I called the vet, concerned she was in pain (she began twitching), and she suddenly woke up and acted normal. I was elated.......for a while.

She is clearly deteriorating quickly. She is not herself, not eating, pretty much catatonic, clearly in pain, and falls over when she tries to clean herself. I have been nursing her all day nonstop. Our vet is out of town but will be back tomorrow and we will likely take her in to be put to sleep. She's lived a long life and has been my faithful companion (her cage is by my bed). There are no words to express how sad I feel.

I am finally getting the Topomax out of my system. Hooray!!! The tremors have stopped!!! My head still hurts ALL the time but my pain otherwise has been manageable. I do have a blood pressure machine and just took it and it is 113/72, pulse 81 (and I have been lying down still for at least an hour). So, I am happy that my blood pressure is coming down to normal (for me) but I do not understand my pulse being so high. I can literally feel my heart beating out of my chest sometimes (and have been having chest pains for two days......probably anxiety).

Anyway, they need to get my meds straigtened out because I am a crying emotional wreck (even before Milk Dud's illness). This disease feels so isolating to me. I can't explain it to people (why I walk so slowly or cringe in pain so often) because it just takes too long and they REALLY don't care or want that much information. It REALLY gets me when none of the doctors or nurses or pharmacists have heard of it (or counselors or psychiatrists, etc......).

I hope you are all doing well. I just wanted to touch base since I've not been on in I don't know how long???? I'll write when I can.

All things bright and beautiful,All creatures great and small,All things wise and wonderful,The Lord God made them all. (Cecil F. Alexander)