Hi Pam,
I don't know how I missed this thread but only found it tonight, or should I say this morning. I stay in so much pain I can't sleep, so I'm up and down all night.
Please try and hang on hon. When a person is in so much pain, and can't get relief, they can't think straight , they become depressed and then it starts to become unbearable. You feel like you are in this hole and can't get out. You're just so tired of the pain, you want it to end. Then you start to think of ways to end it. Should I take a bunch of pills? Should I use a gun? Pam, I have been there. I've been there several times. But, something deep inside kept telling me no. You can fight this. You have to. You must. Think of your husband. He is going through the pain of losing your daughter. You don't want him to go through it again and lose you. He may not make it if he doesn't have you. Twenty years is something to be proud of. You, two, must have something special to be together after all these years. Think of him and what it would do to him.
There are alot of us here that know your pain. We feel it, we feel for you. If you will let us, we will get you through this. It will get better, I promise. Wait until you see the OS. The 5th may seem like a lifetime away, but it isn't really. Keep hanging on. You can do this. We will help you.
Please, keep posting and let us know how you are doing.
We really care,
Linda