I'm sorry to hear you are going through this. Living with a Personality Disorder of any kind is tough, NP's being the toughest!

Here are some well recommended books that I've heard about through another message board, devoted to a specific pd.

The Wizard of OZ and other Narcissists" by Eleanor Payson
Why is it always about you?" by Hotchkiss
Will I Ever Be Good Enough?" by McBride

And 'Fatal Flaws' by Yudofsky

I, personally, have yet to tackle in depth the PD of Narcissism, but was planning a book or two for my summer reads.

I feel these books should be empowering, shine some light on what makes an NP tick, and learn some new communication techniques, that can be used in all manners of relationships.

And 'Look me in the eyes' by Robinson is written by a gentleman with Aspergers, and I've heard decent reviews, as it sheds light into this disorder. From what I understand about Aspergers', if not caught early in life, it can result in a personality disorder of some shape or form. Not catching early was not uncommon, even two decades ago. It's tough to diagnos, even with early intervention....so, I'm not surprised to hear that your son has these two disorders co-morbid with one another.

As far as the suicide threats, I know this is tough. Have you researched borderline personality disorder? There is a new book out there that speaks in laymans terms and helps communications...."The essential family guide to understanding borderline personality disorder"-Kreger. Though your son wasn't dx'd with that, you can learn tips and techniques for dealing with the suicide threats.

One being to set your own personal boundaries. If you threaten around me, I will not hesistate to call the authorities, and follow through. It's not up to you to rescue them from themselves.....

Tough love is tough, and I feel for 'ya! Hang in there!