thanks for all prayers, support more...
i've been trying to come back & update...
but 'connection' problems w/ puter & LIFE...
I'm sorry...
so sorry for so much, so late, too late...

i wanted to share some of the feelings, 'messages' more that i was 'getting'
about how powerful prayer and to give thanks again for , to all...
to share about feeling the Light that found way into my deep darkness..
about seeing greater "plan' & Truth emerging, thru & in HOPE,
the power of Life ..
Lessons in the 'signs' symbols , seasons -- going from the dead, death of WINTER into the Rebirth, Renewal of spring...
HOPE full...

Vernal Equinox-first day of new season--seemed to usher in Light - on that gray cloudy snowy cold day--felt 'warmth' .
HOPE
that day i really wanted & tried to share that
HopeLOST
found...

but LOST
not only response post
but LOST 'it'
now
more hopeLess than week ago... when began this ..
HopeLOST...
so lost....

so many up & downs... but even with more 'downs' felt i could would pick self up ,dusting off & carry on....
i knew it wouldn't be 'easy' but could would find tway thru-, felt renewed 'strength; thought i could embrace Life and Lessons-- flow with the yin/yang, dark /light, good and and not.... that were LIFE...
that i'd accepted would be part of this process...of dealing with Pain and Grief, LOSSes ...
more LOSSes... too many hit hard , too hard ...
Pain & Grief overwhelming
literally knocked me down ... so down...
feeling that vital energy- Life force go
leaving me alone
now
without hope

HopeLOST
so lost....

the feeling --'too late'
has haunted & taunted...
"too late'
hit too hard...
those feelings i've fought
all i've prayed for...hoped for...
too late...
HopeLost