Originally Posted by depressed

Hi, Ive never done this before so please bear with me. I'm 38 yrs. old and live in Ohio. I filed for disability and ss in Dec. of 2006 after falling in our home and broke my left tibia/fibula and tore a muscle. I had surgery done where a plate and screws were placed in my leg/knee. Couldn't do therapy until late April 07 I think and was told in May of same year, that was all they could do for me. I found out also during my recovery in the nursing home for rehabilitation of injury within hours of each other, that I have glaucoma and high blood pressure. I also have edema in both of my legs and I think the plate has slipped down right above my ankle. During my recovery process, I was diagnosed with depression and given meds on top of what I was already taking. All of this was in the file at my hearing and since I couldn't for the life of me get a lawyer to represent me, I went to the hearing without one. The judge was very nice, the hearing seems like it went well. After being denied twice before getting to the hearing stage, my nerves are shot more than usual, I cry now at the drop of a hat and I can't play with or interact with my kids the way I used to. Their father is helping as much as he can, thank goodness but I feel sometimes that I would have been better off if the leg had just been cut off. I say this because I have never felt pain like this before in my life! I can only sit so long and stand so long yet, I have to fight to get something I have worked to pay into since I was 16. I am tired, I am stressed and I am in constant pain. Added onto this, I know must wait for a decision from the ALJ. I miss being the woman I used to be, the mother I used to be and the wife I used to be. I am not asking for sympathy from Social Security, just a little understanding. I'm sorry but I needed to vent I guess. I know waiting on a decision can take forever but, the waiting is getting to me............badly.