Hi Roberta
just wanted to say I replied to your email too and want to tell you again how deeply I sympathize with your sorrow at losing your Dad that way.
I am so glad you are posting and releasing the anguish to people who care
we have a number of boards here where you will find much support, including one for those who are grieving the loss of a loved one
http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/forum51.html
praying for much comfort for you