steve wrote:
"Bingo!!..Like I had mentioned Rick..I have things on the conscious, and sub-conscious level eating away at me,

One of my questions is - how long has this been eating at us? Has it been driving us towards PD for decades? Or has PD created the problem from nothing? Did we have a sensitivity to the chemical cocktail we call stress all along but were able to mask it until the toll grew beyond a certain point? Is part of the reason that more of us big, strong men have PD than those emotional women due to the fact that our society says it isn't masculine to show feelings but it is OK if a girl cries? What is the attitude of the low incidence cultures like India toward display of emotion? Girija?
and this is why I have been having so much difficulty managing symptoms right now..I know for sure that I did not progress this much in a matter of a few weeks,
Likewise, I didn't suddenly heal as I was able to deal with my stress. The sensitivity is chronic and flares up with acute responses.
and I know calling my neuro about it is a waste of time, because the answer to my problems/feelings right now is getting to the end of the process of letting go..Ive seen what emotional crap does to pd..You mentioned Harley as an example..I saw first hand what emotional tumoil does to her..It litterally puts her on the floor, incapacitated..I know what it does to me..My symptoms get unmanageable, and medication doesnt rescue me from it..
Ditto. Total incapacitation in minutes. Take sinemet by the handful and nothing happens.
and the more I dwell on the object/s of my malcontent, the worse my symptoms get, and whats worse, is when Im in the middle of a crisis, I take more Sinemet, and naturally it is futile, because it doesnt take away the emotional upheavals contributing to my condition, so the answer is, letting go of the things I cannot change, and refusing to take a/another bite out of the fruit from the poison tree..Not always easy..It is like an internal, and external tug of war, and somewhere along the line, I have to take the initiative, to make a conscious effort to let go ..."
It does seem like an ongoing struggle both inward and out. What is the connection between my freezing in place and that kid trapped in a bad family scene? Between the hero child with the stiff upper lip and the adult zombie? Just need more L-dopa? Don't make me laugh.