Yes ((Blue)) I think you should talk to a professional about it.

I spent a lot of time talking about my dad with my therapist. Dad is just a sweetheart, but I'm tellin ya, it's been difficult dealing with his severe anxiety all my life.

My therapist said that without meeting him in person, just from what I told her she said he had a severe case of OCD and anxiety. Funny thing is, he's not a depressed person.

Here's a for-instance. Wherever he walks, he always knocks lightly on the walls and doorways he passes through. 3 times each time. When he was a little boy, his sister (who was all about health problems and dying) told my dad that he had to knock on things 3 times or he would die.

So, to this day, he does that.

When I was a little girl, there were times I'd come home from school and find my younger sister hiding outside crying, scared to death. Because my dad would be inside and the first thing he'd say to me is "Call your mother, I think I'm dying." He would wake me up in the middle of the night to sit with him when he was having a panic attack because my mother would get mad if he woke her up.

He used to call my mom and she would have to rush to his office to sit with him because of his attacks. We rarely travelled, but when we did, we always had to pull over to the side of the road because he would invariable have a panic attack and need to get out of the car because he thought he was having a heart attack and dying.

He still can't drive anywhere alone, serious, not anywhere.

These kinds of stories are plentiful, but you get the idea. He really has spent his entire life being afraid that each moment was his last. He's been to doctors more than anyone I've ever known.

Sigh. So please, do talk to someone about the obsessive thoughts so that you can get some help with it before you end up with a life of worry. Life is just too short. And I know it's hard! It's very frightening! But there is help sweetie, there is. I'm so sorry you're going through it.

I've had a few panic attacks and they just are no fun!

And we love you.