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Old 04-03-2009, 10:52 AM
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hollym hollym is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2008
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15 yr Member
hollym hollym is offline
Senior Member
hollym's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 1,690
15 yr Member
Default I'm Scared - What am I getting into??

I am bringing my Grandma home with hospice on Monday.

Many of you know the story, but for those that don't...

In January, she was dx'd with small cell lung cancer AND she also fell and broke her hip and wrist. We did a trial of chemo for one course and she did not respond well. In fact, she really went downhill. She has been in the hospital for over 30 days since January, then went to a long term acute care hospital for 21 days and has been in skilled nursing for the rest of the time.

She cannot walk and is not even strong enough to sit for very long. She has lost the ability to swallow and now has a PEG tube for enteral feeding. Her electrolytes and hemoglobin continually go out of whack.

We made the decision together a couple weeks ago while meeting with the oncologist to discontinue chemo. She said she doesn't want to live like this. I can't say I blame her. She hates being in the nursing home so it's time to bring her home.

I am terrified about how I'm going to handle this and how my kids will take it, but I really feel like this is the right thing to do.

I am excited in one way to be home. I have been running non-stop for 2-1/2 months between work, kids, the house, and trying to see her in whatever facility at least once a day. Now, we will just be home. Maybe I can even get my house clean again (I can at least hope)!

I don't know how much longer she will be with me, but I really hope this can be a positive experience (as much as that is possible).
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Take me back to days full of monkeyshines
Bouncin' on a bubble full of trouble in the summer sun
Keep your raft from the riverboat
Fiction over fact always has my vote
And wrinkles only go where the smiles have been...

Jimmy Buffett from "Barefoot Children in the Rain"


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