"Sometimes it's hard to recognize that anger is part of our grief. Maybe we're angry at the doctors and nurses for not making our loved one well. Or for not alleviating the suffering. Or for not doing a better job of keeping us informed.

Maybe we're angry at the loved one - for not trying hard enough to get well, or for not taking better care of himself or herself. Or just for leaving us. Maybe we're angry with ourselves. Or angry at God.

Even when we don't hold a particlar person - or God - responsible for the death of our loved one, we're angry. Our life has been disrupted. We have been deprived of something - even if it's only peace - that we wanted.

As with other aspects of grief, we need to recognize anger and express it. We may need to be careful with relatives and friends. But we don't need to worry about God - we can let it fly."

Healing After Loss by Martha Whitmore Hickman