I totally agree w/mrsD and Peter on this Lucy. I have Tramadol (Ultram) on hand, but only take one pill if I'm in alot of pain. I hope your DIL gets some help, as I can tell this is troubling you tremendously. How about a one on one w/your DS and make him listen to you. Did your DS tell you about the blood showing up in her urine, or did she?? To me, the fact that someone told you means they realize there's a problem. (unless she heard it from the Dr and chooses to ignore it)

Also, as a Mother of a son who underwent a kidney transplant due to congenital problems, blood in the urine requires immediate attn.

Thinking of you and hope things turn around for your DIL.

sending hugs to you Lucy!!!