I'm still here...

Meds: my memory isn't too good but I do remember fentanyl patches...oxycontin...and I know I've tried several others with the same bad reaction... lungs, throat, face swelled up... thought heart was going to explode. We tried benadryl and several other antihistamines but they didn't stop the reaction... i can't remember what they gave me that finally got it to stop... i just know my doctor was more than concerned and told me that I was never to take any narcotic pain medicine again and gave me a list of others that weren't narcotic too as they would likely cause the same reaction.


I've tried so much... nerve blocks worked for a little bit but then I had major flares as soon as they wore off.... I've tried biofeedback...it worked for a little while but as the pain got worse... it stopped. Seems like the only thing that works is Chiropractic (Very aggressive style) and acupuncture...but my doc has a super busy practice and I can't stand to be in there when they run different machines that vibrate....I can be on the other side of the office and I know exactly when they start one up... the pain shoots through my feet and across my body like someone doused me with acid and set me on fire. In order to keep the pain in check I have to go in a few times a day... everyday. I haven't been able to go in as much because of this so I can't get the pain down at all.

Ketamine and HBOT were on the list for the next things to try but it's a $$ thing and there is none.

I currently take Lyrica--450mg x 2/day. Cymbalta--30mg x 2/day. Miacalcin once a day... i don't think that's spelled right.


I have no spouse, no significant other, no kids.... I have brothers and sisters but never see or talk to them... I live with my parents who could care less if I am here other than I am a drain on their bills-- and I don't eat much--no appetite...don't use much electric--only tv on most of the time--no lights... don't use much water---sorry to say but bathing is hard so I usually just wash up. I have only 1 friend... others disappeared shortly after I was diagnosed and I haven't heard from them in nearly 3 years.

I am worthless... empty... lost... hopeless.

I used to be very active and athletic... softball, rollerblading, martial artist, running. Now I struggle to move.

Disablity has been applied for but we all know that game...
Work Comp settlement is pending... It's a mess and that game is just as bad as a disability.


I'm tired and have nothing worth going on for...