((((((Abasaki)))))),
I've spent my whole life fighting depression. I *recognize* depression when I see it and hear it in others. *YOU* are depressed. Cymbalta stinks for deep depression.
I want you to do something for me. Read this and then answer a question:
Quote:
I have no spouse, no significant other, no kids.... I have brothers and sisters but never see or talk to them... I live with my parents who could care less if I am here other than I am a drain on their bills-- and I don't eat much--no appetite...don't use much electric--only tv on most of the time--no lights... don't use much water---sorry to say but bathing is hard so I usually just wash up. I have only 1 friend... others disappeared shortly after I was diagnosed and I haven't heard from them in nearly 3 years.
I am worthless... empty... lost... hopeless.
I used to be very active and athletic... softball, rollerblading, martial artist, running. Now I struggle to move.
Disablity has been applied for but we all know that game...
Work Comp settlement is pending... It's a mess and that game is just as bad as a disability.
I'm tired and have nothing worth going on for...
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The question: WHY is this enough for you?? I wouldn't wish a life like this on my worst enemy. If you give up and do not fight for MORE, you are saying I ACCEPT ALL OF THIS, this is ENOUGH FOR ME, I want NO MORE.
I cannot believe that. I cannot.
I * KNOW* you want more. I *KNOW* you want better. I *KNOW* you want relief. I *KNOW* you choose life.
Abasaki, do you have a psychiatrist?? Not a psychologist or psychiatric social worker -- a psychiatrist who can prescribe medication if necessary?? A psychiatrist who can work with you to discover WHY you think you deserve so little.
You are at the bottom of huge pit of depression, Abasaki. I've been there enough times to recognize it. You need to take active steps to get out of it.
There are people here:
http://www.recovery-inc.com that will show you how to cope with living. They're everywhere in the world. There's minimal cost -- maybe just for having the janitor clean up after the meetings. You can get the books at the library. Please go to a couple of meetings. Share a book with the person next to you. Sign up to have the newsletters mailed to you. See if it helps.
You are worth SO MUCH MORE than what you are accepting for your life. Please...fight for more.
Barb