this was MY LIFE EXACTLY when i was 13. i refused to go to school, i would cry and beg the whole ride there and refuse to get out of the car once i got there. i had also moved to a new school and was very uneasy about the whole process. just like your son if i was forced to be left at school i would go to the councilors office and cry until they made my parents pick me up. it was very hard for me because no one understood how i felt. i still to this day have problems eating in crowded restaurants and the like. and im 24 now. i took effexor when i was in high school. im not sure if it worked or if it was just the threatening from my mother that i would end up at school at juvenile hall if i didnt attend school. i was also seing a psycologist 2x a week for an hour each session. i was so frustrated and confused and it just fueled the anxiety further. i couldnt leave the house but i wouldnt let anyone leave me alone at the house either. i dont know what to tell you about how to fix your sons problem i can just tell you he is not the only one. this is the first ive read about someone just like me and it has helped to know im am also not alone. i wish you the best of luck and just know that it is 100 times harder for your son than you can even imagine. please be patient with him. its really not something he can control. i wanted to be normal just like the other kids my brain just wouldnt let me...and it still wont. now thinking back, i think there is something about being in a confined space where you know you are not in control of the situation. you have to ask to leave the classroom and there is a chance the answer will be no. for me when i loose control of the situation im in, i lose control of myself completely. there is no way to fight anxiety within yourself when it gets to a certain point. i dont think he is using it as a crutch. just speaking from experience. but there is a point where it seems hopeless and you accept that that is just the way you are and no one will understand no matter how well you explain it. if you have any other questions you can contact me directly *edit*

My son will be 13 in October. Diagnosed w/Anxiety two years ago when we had him hospitalized for school refusal, as well as loss of interest in any activity outside of our home.

Had a good school year last year, little to no anxiety. This year, moved to middle school (many more kids, larger building), will not stay at school. Refuses to go w/o mom or dad, and when we leave building he follows. Has only been to a couple of classes since the start of the school year four weeks ago. Has always been advanced academically, has always had a lot of friends, and has always done very well in any sport he tries.

We are working w/counselors and he is now on Lexapro which we have been titrating up. Still no school. We keep taking him, he now stays in the building with out a parent, but for only one period where he sits in the guidance counselors office the entire period, because he cannot make himself enter the classroom.

We are at the point of feeling like his anxiety has become a crutch, and he won't try to fight his anxiety. He is in enrolled in a day hospital where he receives therapy daily for the half day he is not supposed to be in school, along w/med checks and group work.

My husband and I are losing our patients, we feel he should be much further along by now. He needs to go back to school. What else should we do? We only allow him computer time (his favorite thing) if he goes to class, which he hasn't had in about three weeks. It doesn't seem to be enough incentive. Perhaps we should take away all privledges until he complies. we were giving him video games for going into the counseling center without grief each day.

HELP!
Lisa[/quote]

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