serum protein immunofixation electrophoresis (SPEP...

oh yeah, like I understand this!!!!. I must have gone over this blood test thing 20 times. Can't understand one thing. Alan took a glucose tolerance test many years ago and I test him from time to time. His sugar never goes over 85. Doesn't this mean he can't have diabetes???'

And she's testing him for Syphillis??? Really?? now that's funny. Let me explain.
When Alan first had the neuropathy, let's say 16 or so years ago, we began a journey of different kinds of doctors. neuros, rheumos, this doc and that doc. I will never forget when we were in some doc's office and the doctor looked at Alan (all serious and everything) and asked Alan "have you ever had sex with a Vietnamese woman". I thought the man had lost his mind!!!

I said "what did you just say,and Alan nearly choked". I said "you want to know if he slept with a vietnamese woman?? let me tell you, if Alan slept with a vietnamese woman, it would be the last vietnamese woman he would ever sleep with..... what the hell kind of question is that???"

the doctor, after he stopped smiling... looked at Alan and asked him if he was ever in Vietnam? Alan just stared at the doctor. Now Alan isn't too quick on the uptake sometimes and neither of us was very quick on the uptake on this vietnamese question thing. Alan said "why on earth would you want to know if I went to vietnam?

The doctor FINALLY EXPLAINED that many many solders, during the vietnam war, had relations with the local vietnamese woman who all gave these soldiers syphillis. Now years and years have passed and many of these guys were coming down with neuropathy and when they were tested it was found that these guys had syphillis. Well, I gave Alan a withering look and simply said "If, and I don't care where it happened, but IF you have ever been with anybody from that part of the country, you better spit it out now". After choking for five minutes, Alan said to the doctor (and to me). "I swear to god, I have never touched anybody from vietnam". You had to see the look on the doctor's face and when I burst out laughing. I knew he never had a vietnamese woman, I wanted to see his reaction. So the syphillis thing was ruled out.

BUT, if this new test the doctor is running determines something else, THEN ALAN WILL NOT ONLY BE EATING HIS PATATAS, HE'LL BE WEARING THEM.....and this is where he will be: