Thank you both for answering. I really do try so hard to understand, and do as much as i can to help Reed, but trying at the same to time to help him keep what he has left of his self sufficiency. Geeez what a job!
Reed does have a pain management doc, and he's really great. Even WC said they've never dealt with a doc that is so involved and thorough. (They don't know how he bad mouths wc at every visit lol) I do have to say though, that I've heard and read some real horror stories on wc, and apparently, Reed has a very good company in comparison. They have yet to deny anything his doc has recommended.
Now, both of you have talked about depression, and anxiety. Did you both suffer with severe mood swings and alot of anger? Sometimes, it's hard for me to see depression in Reed because of all the anger. He truly hates the world, and doesn't mind telling it. He can be so mean sometimes, and he regrets the things he says later, but at the time, he really feels justified. I realize that it's part of depression, but have mercy.. this is killing me! I love him, and I would never leave his side, but sometimes I feel like running away for a few days. I have to admit, I've even had some evil thoughts like "if I took off on vacation for a week, you'd realize how much I really do for you and then what would you do?!" Not that I would do that.. not that we have the MONEY to do that..lol but this is affecting us all, and I am really hoping and praying for some help. I know things will never be the same, but I just want my smiling, happy Reed back. I just want him to find his smile again. And now, here I sit, crying. lol What a sap I am. And i'm rambling.. so thank you all for the support. You are really a comfort, and I am so glad to have found this forum!