Quote:
Originally Posted by Blessings2You
I sound like a broken record. I wouldn't be surprised if I posted about this a few times already.
I think the frustration of reasons sounding like excuses, and explaining sounding like whining, is right up there with my worst physical symptoms.
People with MS deal with this in several ways: explain patiently, be vague, explain briefly, stay home, respond with "bite me"...the list goes on.
I don't have the energy for peripheral friends, or a good way to say to them: "Sorry, I only have the energy for one phone conversation per day. It's going to be my daughter, not you."
Or a kind way to say, "I can only go out for lunch once a month, and sorry, you're not on my list of top two friends."
I thought I had made peace (ha) with the idea that I have a limited amount of energy/spoons to parcel out, but it's hard when this issue keeps popping up NOT as hobbies, household chores, etc. but as people. I hate having to prioritize people in my life, but there it is.
My energy has to go first to feeding relationships with my husband, my children, my granddaughter, my couple of "best" friends. That leaves a lot of people that I really, really want to spend time with, but I just can't. And it vacuums, big time.
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I had started the process of weeding out people in my life before my dx for a variety of reasons.
I feel less guilty about it since my Dx.
I think you find your real friends very quickly, those people that truly care about you Understand, they accept that there are things you just can't do and don't make you feel guilty about it. They ask how you are and actually listen to the answers, even the parts you don't say.
They don't make you feel guilty for not calling or going out and are thrilled when you call and say "hey todays a good day want to do something".
They get that you can't plan ahead as much as you'd like because hey you didn't know today would be so good, but you need to take advantage now because tomorrow it could be gone.
Know that its ok and yes we've all been there more than we'd like. Some days we accept it some days it upsets us.
Hope you have a good day today!