First I want to thank all of you for responding. All it seems is that I have you who all understand what I am going through and words can't say enough for what you all do.
I have tried to give to my hubby.I have ALWAYS tried to make sure my hubby and my daughter get what they need first. I try to get my hubby to understand what I am going through without arguing with him, but before I get a chance to finish what I want to say he always flies off the handle. I then try to tell him I don't want to fight so please just listen to what I have to say. By that time his blood pressure is so high its like what i say goes in one ear and out the other. So I just tell him we can talk about it later when you calm down. He fully insists continuing the discussion that I don't want to do. He then gets me to crying so hard that I am hyper ventilating. My daughter which is 13 yrs old tries to get us to to stop fighting and all my husband does is turn and yell at her and then that upsets me more because I am also in the process of trying to help her get better. For a long time her and I didn't get along. she would always be happy at one point and then when something didn't go her way she would be a completely different person.Like she would hold a knife up to neck and say she wanted to die and she would throw things at me. I couldn't deal with that any longer and I took her to see a counselor whether she wanted to go or not. She sees him once a week and she also sees a psychologist(one who can prescribe meds if needed) once a month. He put her on 20mgs of prozac and diagnosed her with a personality dysfunction. So I am trying so hard to make peace for her as well as myself. Don't get me wrong my hubby isn't always a jerk, but here lately he is really horrible. I haven't seen him like this in a long time.So not only am I trying to keep the peace for myself but for my daughter as well. Here lately she has been so understanding with me and is helping out as much as she can. If I try to pick something up that is to heavy for me she will say mom put that back down. You are not suppose to pick that up. Let me do it. I really think she is coming around since she has been on the meds. I know that sounds horrible, but she has not had any of the horrible outbursts since she has been on the meds 3 months ago. I try to compliment her whenever I can as well as my husband. I will always notice what seems like the small things to my family and praise them or thank them for what they have done and they always say it was nothing not a big deal.I always tell them that it is a big deal to me and leave it at that. So see I do try really hard to make it work for the family, but with my hubby it just doesn't seem like it matters. He is constantly trying to fight with me or my daughter. I don't like that. I just don't know for sure how to fix everything. He always looks in the past and reminds me of what happened, but he does say that it is the companies fault for not listening to me, and he always tells me that he has to look into the future but no reason why. I try to tell him that the past is the past and we can't change what happened. I am just stuck with what I have.And the future is the future whatever it may be. We can not predict the future so why can't we just live in the here and now. That is all we have cause we don't know if we are going to wake up tomorrow. Am I doing something wrong? I try so hard but no matter what I do it just seems like it doesn't matter. My daughter supports me but she has her own problems to deal with so I don't try to talk to her about my problem much. She has just trying to deal with being a teen right now she don't need any other burdens. I love her so much that there isn't anything in this world I wouldn't do for her. I just have to figure out how to deal with my problems and keep my mouth shut to my hubby I guess. If he talks then I will talk other wise I guess it will be quiet. I don't know what else to do. I want to be able to go help him outside like I use to but I can't now and that is very disturbing to me. I would like to work but I don't think i can with what i am dealing with right now. So I am no good I guess. I am a completely different person than who married my husband all those years ago. Maybe he resents me because I am not who I use to be. I don't know anymore. Like I said if I could get by with just giving up that is what i would do.
You all take care and hope to talk to you soon.

Sincerely yours,
Tracy