Hi Rita!

Sounds like you have your hands full

A lot of the things you were telling us about Reed could be said of me LOL. For me the change was too abrupt, in one single day everything I knew was turned upside down. Then as I tried to reassemble some kind of normal for myself I ran into one brick wall after another.

I then realized that to get passed these walls were going to be much harder in the condition I am in now than it was when I was healthy. Used to be I could overcome obstacles with shear will power. Not the case now, and will probably never be that way again.

So these things, and fear began to erode me. Then I started thinking about how unfair it is to my wife and family. I even told my wife on numerous occasions that she could leave anytime she wanted, because in my eyes she didnt sign on for any of this.

Something she did totally disarmed me, and caused me to think before I spoke when I would run up against one of my new limitations. She said she would stick with me no matter how bad it got, and told me that if I needed to vent she would listen without judging me. That was one of my major fears, that because of what happened to me she would stop loving me, or leave me.

She kept on reassuring me that she was there for me, and was going nowhere. It took a while for me to process this information and realize she was telling me the truth. From the time I realized she was by my side through anything, I knew I could face it all with her by my side. It was so reassuring, it gave me a renewed vision of where I fit in this now upside down world.

Sure I still have my moments, but I will tell you that I try my best to not take out any of my troubles dealing with this awful RSD on her or any of my family. I now venture outside, and visit with friends and family.....things I avoided at all costs for a few years there.

I think it would be a tremendous help to him if you are able to articulate exactly how you stand on the issue of him and his now disabilities. Once he realizes you are firmly in his corner no matter what, will create some comfort from a fear that I know he is wrestling with. It will give him some confidence to take on other things that limit him. Just knowing that he will not lose what he loves most is like having a rock under you.

I will be keeping you two in my prayers