Nik-Key

Sadly, it is possible to not know. It is possible to smile and be normal on the outside and not show what is going on inside.

I know, I did it. I was seeing a Psychiatrist who was also my therapist and she had no idea how deep I had really gone nor did my family. I was asked many times if I felt suicidal and I always said no. I put on a happy face and tried to be normal on the outside for everyone. On the inside....darkness and emptiness. I didn't want to leave that place and I was on medication.

Your dad was strong, his thinking just became irrational and fuzzy. It's soo difficult to think clearly when that happens.

Nik-Key, you can't blame yourself, you had no way of knowing. It's not your fault