Just thinking as I try to work through my own suicidal tendencies, and thoughts. I am the type of person that would be the first to help someone else survive and not to make that awful decision. But when I am fighting it myself, I implode, that is the only way that I know how to describe it. We love fiercely other people. But, I think, when depression and suicidal thoughts hit, the implosion that takes place makes it difficult to 'feel' that other people really do care that much and love us. I just don't think that at that point we are able to feel the love, or absorb what our loved ones would want to give. And, we don't want to add a burden by sharing the pain that we feel. It is hard to realize that that is exactly what we need to do. Thinking in that moment of deep pain keeps us from being able to 'see' what we will do to the ones that we love, and who love us. But, that is me, and what I am beginning to see about myself. It's just *amm hard.

Bringing it out of the closet??? I am still working on that one. When you walk into a closet and close the door, opening it again seems to be the hardest part. Why would we want to share darkness??? And that is what it looks like instead of an illness that needs to be treated. Just my random thoughts.......