Hi, Nikko ... I apologize for not knowing you, but I just started reading some of your posts this week. It was just in this thread that I discovered you are female!
But I see that you must not be a member of Al-Anon and so want to urge you to look for the meetings closest to you and attend. There you will find the best support and advice for dealing with an alcholic family member - as well as learn how the children of alcoholics all have so many of the same problems in common. This is, surprisingly, a positive thing - to discover a group who can so relate to you and your struggles.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nikko
 I doubt she will agree to go to a detox place, maybe a place for depression though. After that I don't know about a nursing facility, she doesn't like those places |
Of course she won't (voluntarily) go to ANY place where people won't be providing her booze whenever she demands it. If she can't get on and off the toilet chair without falling, how does she get out to the liquor store buy the booze where she lives now? Who carries the bottles into the bedroom for her? Is it her husband? As long as she is enabled at home, she will stay at home.
Quote:
|
So, I think it is going to be one of those days!!!! I am going to wait to hear from the hospital, because I am not running over there to sit and wait, and God only knows if my mom is ****** off at me for calling 911. She is killing herself slowly with alcohol and doesn't seem to care, I think she has just given up.
|
Of course she's ****** off -- there's no booze in the ER. Unfortunately, alcohol almost never kills as quickly as one would think. She may still be around for 10 years. Longer? Who knows. But will you still be there, cleaning her up and helping her back to bed?
Quote:
|
after she was in a Assisted Living place for a short time after her almost year in the hospital for the stroke, seizures, heart attack and depression, etc, and I found out they were giving her someone else's thyroid med.
|
Well, at least thryroid wouldn't hurt her in the tiny doses perscribed. So, you REMOVED her from assisted living for that nursing error? Is there anyway you can get her back in? At home, being allowed to be drunk, she needs more than assisted living - she seems nursing home material. But dried out, she may still qualify for assisted living.
At least you know you would know that it is a good idea to review her med chart periodically. Actually, the nursing supervisor, knowing that her chart will be reviewed, is going to get down on her nurses to not mess up with any patients.
Quote:
|
Anyway, I wish I could just go back to sleep, this is all just pulling me right back down. Hugs, Nikko
|
Very understandable. The only way this will ever change is if YOU change. Change what you expect of life and for yourself ... and stop enabling your mother and family.
Your mother would NOT EVER BENEFIT from detox as long a she can demand booze when she gets back home. Detox does NOT get rid of addictions. Ever. It doesn't work like that. It merely gets MOTIVATED people sober enough to attend AA meetings and group sessions while they are inpatient. It gives them a chance to THINK about being sober.
The only way you can treat her alcoholism is to get her out of the house and back into a facility. But what would your life be like then? Sometimes it is the changes it would mean to our own lives that keep us from changing our circumstances.
I hope very much that you get the phone book out and look for AlAnon (or Al-Anon) in the black and white pages. If you can't find them, look for AA (or Alcoholics Anonymous) - the meetings are often at the same place, just different times and/or meeting rooms. You will get a world of help. After decades, they are still the first recommendations of Ann Landers and Dear Abby. There is no cost to join or attend meetings, even if they pass around "a collection plate" - they know many will not put in more than coins or a few dollars .. and that some have no disposable income.
apologizing for the tough love...
Teri