Not feeling so well, I had a pain management Dr. appt today and told him about some new pain I am having, it's been seven years since my last MRI and he wants to get me on MONDAY for a fresh one on my neck. I got up out of bed about a month ago and had turned my head and got a sharp pain in my neck and then it snaps after I raise my arms up shoulder high with ANY weight bearing....

The diagnositic testing he did on me made me HURT and he said based on what I told him about NO weakness in the muscles and NO numbness that it's probably a nerniated disc and most likely NOT pinching a nerve, we'll see, I am so anxious about this MRI...I have known it was coming though because of the pain this past month...I just hate this, its an open MRI machine thank heavens, but even so I think I will be taking my lorazepam when I go into the machine, bring a def leppard CD and just PRAY it goes well the first time so they don't have to redo anything.

I have been having really AWFUL panic attacks and just have a fear of this procedure...I hope it's going to be all right I am so scared guys, I hope that he doesn't want to shoot my neck in the spine, I can't handle that....He said if it was nerve pinching he'd reccommend an epidural.

Jackie had a great day today, his class went to a community park which has a little water park, not a pool, but like big old sprinklers and such, he's been doing better. The soccer ball is a lot of fun to play with. And he's enjoying it a lot. I don't know how the weekend will go, we have the aide coming out and I am taking over the work she does with Jackie, like using this communication book, the aide made it and we go over like six pages with fifty icons on it, and he tells us what they are, like pics of things from toys, to body parts and places and people. It's really helping him I think.

Mom is coming over but she's been having a bellyache for like over a month now and I am worried about her. She's all I got left and it scares me to think that she might not be around much longer. I need her still...so much...Hopefully we'll have a good weekend and the MRI will go by quickly and I won't have a panic attack IN the machine, that is what I am worried about, if I can get through the test okay then I have to wait until THURSDAY to get the results of the test from the dr when I go back in...I hope that it's not going to mean an epidural. So worried....

Other then these things it's getting better, the abilify is helping but not fully yet and the new blood pressure med has my high blood pressure under control again so all's well on that front. Hope everyone has a awesome weekend!