I'm sorry that you and your cat are going through this. I feel your pain and my heart just aches for you.

I lost my two last cats to kidney disease. The first passed at home, the second we took to the vet because I couldn't let him go through what the other cat had.

I wish I could say something nice to help you through this, but unfortunately I don't have the words you want to hear. I'm so sorry.

If you feel you need more input msarkie, we do have a pet forum at :
http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/forum62.html

Praying you get the help you need to make the decision you must.