I am so sorry everyone is in this place mentally and physically. I know when my pain gets so high and for so long it is hard to hold to hope but we have to. For me I focus on my mom who is my strength and hope and it helps me get through. If I feel I can't make it I reach out to her or I self talk to just hold on a little longer and then usually a break will come. I recently went back to a psych after dealing with this for 2 years as my mental state was going down hill. I really was not so excited about this at first but I have to say it is helping. Of course when I have a bad pain day some hopeless feelings come in but I seem to battle them in a better fashion. Please reach out like others have stated and remind yourself of the people who care and love you and also the people who do get to a better place pain and life wise with the proper treatment. One last note and I am sorry this is long but for me I am trying to take one day or even one hour at a time. Many thoughts and better wishes