Quote:
Originally Posted by SandyRI
Hi Robert,
I can totally understand where you are coming from. My background is a bit different - I have a caring, loving husband and 2 teenagers (who are a pain in the butt but basically very good kids). But I have started thinking of suicide often also. Like so many others, I have RSD because of multiple doc errors. But my attorney claims there is no malpractice case. (In RI you never know if that is really the truth, or if the attorney and your doctor are golf partners...) As my disease progresses, if (when?) I am unable to work, my family is going to loose my income and their health insurance coverage (I am WC - the amount they pay is not nearly enough to cover what I now provide). I am tired of fighting WC for everything that I deserve- the meds, the PT, the docs, the procedures, etc. Plus my head hurts most of the time. If there is no way to sue the people who did this to me, I don't know how my family will replace the income and related benefits that I expected to make over the next 20 years.
I am starting to conclude that I am better off dead. My life insurance will at least take care of my family's needs so they will be afford health insurance, pay for our home, and my kids can still go to college. I just have to make it look like an accident....which is easy since I walk in the city most days where people drive like maniacs.
It's too bad that this is what it comes down to. But imagine how happy my WC adjuster will be!! This is what they aspire to - make them nuts enough so they go away for good!!
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Sandy, I've read your reply a bunch of times. I honestly just whiped away a tear from my right eye just now. Please, don't give up. repeat: please dont don't give up.
I know the constant pain and struggles of everyday rsd life makes us all have extremely weak times. When I wrote this message, I was so tired. it had been 4 days and nights since I had last slept. If i had been in my right-mind, I never would have introduced myself like I did.
As I've already written, I found this site while looking up RSD and suicide, but I left out the most important part. I was looking for ideas and things that others with rsd might do to stop thinking about suicide.
My stepsister took her own life 5 years ago...almost 6. She had liver failure and other related medical problems due to her drinking and drug addiction. I saw what her giving up did to everyone around her.
Personally, I see a psychologist every two weeks. She tells me that I am too smart to give up. I appreciate her building up the way I feel about myself, but honestly, she doesn't know what heck I live through each day.
I did get a little sleep twice today finally. I'm still not thinking right, but a little better.