Di, words of wisdom that you posted.Thank you for sharing.
I felt like you and I went through closely the same situation. My perception of Life sculpts my attitude of Life. I still have bad days;however, seeing my psychologist every 2 weeks assist me in focusing toward a positive ,rather than a negative, perception of living Life to the fullest.
I have a supportive hubby and son, and I let them KNOW that I appreciate that support.

Robert..chin up, know that you are supported by friends here.I am sorry you and your wife are having a difficult time. RSD effects/affect the entire family and friends of the RSD patient. I hope both of you reach out for help by therapy. Both of you are experiencing pain through isolation, and this pain can be faced together by supporting each other. It is not a you over her..or her over you situation. Both of you need to feel safe to communicate with each other. A therapist can foster that safe zone to a point where you and your wife will be able to communicate freely as you did once before in your relationship.