I know that God caught Mark, my brother, when he took his own life.
I know with a firm faith that one day I will see him again.

Without my faith that God's words are true, I would be so lost.
It doesn't make it easy-just more tolerable.
I'm still human, God still loves me.

He loved Mark and all of us - He knew our pain, He cried with us, He carried us when we probably didn't even realize it. He caught each of us when we couldn't go on another second.

They are with Him now watching over me. And will be there to meet me when it's my time to die. He is no longer in pain, he's in a place that hurt and pain are not even memories.

I know I've said this before but like a mother holding her infant baby in her arms for the first time, that, I believe, is the best image we have available to understand how a suicide victim (most often an overly sensitive soul) is received into the next life.

This was read at Mark's funeral and I'm holding on to this image, he's okay now, he's whole again, he's full of life, he doesn't hurt anymore and he's playing baseball with the angels.

I Just Want You to Know

I was sitting here in Heaven
And having a wonderful day.
I started thinking about you
And all the things I didn’t get a chance to say.
I don’t want you to worry about me
And please don’t shed any tears,
Because I Will wait for you in heaven,
If it takes a hundred years.
Everything I had on earth
I have in heaven too!
My first day here
My body became brand new.
It is really pretty here
And I love my new home,
Although your heart is broken
Because my body is gone.
My love will always be there
As you go along the way,
Just take a peek inside your heart
There is where I’ll stay.
Know that I loved my family
And all my friends too,
My thoughts will be with each of you
Your whole life through.