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The term rational suicide is an oxymoron. When a person chooses to die, he or she is so distorted by pain – physical, mental or emotional – that the world is reduced to a solitary alternative. Suicide is an anguished response to loss: the loss of faith, of a loved one, of health, of mental powers, of money, of the ability to fight. As we survivors separate ourselves from the hopelessness and desperation that propelled our loved ones to end their lives, we start to mourn their deaths, not their suicides, and begin to heal from the very real pain deep with us.
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No Time to Say Goodbye – Carla Fine
Alffe I wish you could talk about Michael more. All I ever here you say is about his boisterous laugh. My mom was so betrayed by Mark’s suicide that for a while she took down every picture, every memory of him from the house. She even said to my dad that I never had a son. Being a sibling survivor I saw the pain in my parent’s faces, I saw their anguish. How could I bring them any more pain by talking about it? Mark’s chair at the dining room table was immortalized forever and I couldn’t fill it. I was the only one who could have saved him, I was the last person to speak to him, I was closest to him.
I had a very strong need to feel his pain that led to tying that noose around his neck. It took me a long time to figure out, but I finally accepted the idea that I can’t feel his pain, and if I ever were able to feel his pain, I’d have to do the same thing. Hence my attempts, I wanted to feel his pain. But now I know the hurt, the pain, will never go away. I just wish that God could send him back here on earth where he belongs. But that won't happen, so I live on in his memory. I'm trying to remember his life, not his death or how it happened.
MICHAEL IS A SPECIAL STAR
When you feel lonely, when the person you love passes away,
Look to the night sky after a clear day.
The star that to you, appears to be bright,
Will be your loved one...looking upon you during the night.
The lights of Heaven are what show through
As your loved one watches all that you do.
When you feel lonely for the one that you love,
Look to the Heavens in the night sky above.
I don't know why my "insert image" button doesn't work
