I thought the ptsd was getting better.

Although with my mom's situation, it is bringing up a lot of emotions of my Dad's death in 1982, which they say I never dealt with his death.

Also the assualt by my husband, I am worried about him, like him being alone on the holidays, he doesn't have his coats, etc.........I know I shouldn't care less, but I can't seem to get to that point.

On the other hand, I am sure he hates me, because he thinks it was my fault, that's the way they think. I shouldn't be hated by him. I don't still love him at least I don't think so. Maybe it is the fact that I will never speak to him again, or will I when he is done with everything in April of 2008.

I can't get close to any man, I have no desire , maybe it is time for me to find me.

Everything is wrapped up tight inside me, besides my physical issues.
I guess I am somewhat depressed, I try to keep busy. I wish I could shut my mind off though.

Okay, just venting, this is all probably normal under the circumstances, but it sure doesn't feel it.

Hugs, Nikko