I haven't been around in awhile; baaaaaaaad days for the past couple of weeks. And, really, nothing to say that compares to anything else here. I'm going to the neuro on Friday, probably for the last time.

Hubby's dad, my dear, dear fil, is dying. On Saturday his kidneys were operating at 30% capacity and today he's down to 10%.....he's not eligible for dialysis now. And, on top of it, he has an aneurysm - what all of his brothers and his sister and mother died from. He's the last of his family. This is devastating to all of us. He's been my dad for all these years - hubby's the oldest in the family and he's just always been here for us. Even after my mil died 10 years ago - he thought he'd go so soon after and we've all taken turns just spending time with him. I can't imagine life without him.

And then that brings up the whole "son" thing.....hubby says that we are NOT calling him when dad dies. And I guess I can see his point...he's made it very clear that he wants nothing to do with us, but that just seems so wrong. I mean, I don't want him at MY funeral, but at his grandpa's??? I can't stand all of this stress. It makes my brain feel like it's having a million electric shocks and, because of that, I can't walk. Oh, I wish I could just stop this. I do not cry but right now it seems that I can't stop.