I'm so sorry to read about your FIL hippiechick. Please know that he, you and the rest of your family will be in my prayers.

It's awful when families are divided, but during illness and probably more so when death may be eminent, I think the divisions are harder to bear. Please know that I speak from experience.

Had some-one in a different state not read about my brother's death in the newspaper last year, I'd probably never have known that he'd passed, and that hurt!

I dare say you are much too close to your hubby emotionally to get him to change is mind about letting his son know about his grandfather's condition now, when your husband is so worried about his dad, but if there's anyone else who might convince him..... then maybe it's worth a try to get them to talk to your hubby.

I don't know your family dynamics but I do know how I felt when I accidently found out about my brother' death, and I assure you that wasn't very nice.

With that in mind, I can imagine how a grandson might feel finding out too late that his grand father had died.