Abbie is it...so you are a female. (I had a 50 percent chance of being right)*grin
I am so sorry that you are in such pain and understand that you don't want to die....you want the pain to end.

I think you have a good friend in k....live for her if you can't find another reason right this minute....or live for Lara (she's a wonderful friend and has been here for me for years....she's one of the reasons I'm still alive and kicking)

It's hard to have hope when you are in such pain but trust me...hope is in your soul. (((Abbie)))