I don't have TBI but my mom had a brain tumor and we're dealing with the after affects of that. I can totally relate to the frustration and getting mom to understand how hard things may be for awhile both on her and me. I also take care of my hubby and mom was going to come live with us but she is doing well enough to hang out at her place. I know the day will come and boundaries will need to be set.

She's always been kind of high strung so you can imagine having brain surgery on top of that. The side effects have caused her memory to fail, her cognition to fail and her emotional switch to fail. They told us because of where the tumor was, this could happen. She also has seizures. She's had such a tough life that bitterness and side effects of the surgery are holding her back a little.

Anyway, what I am trying to say is don't be so hard on yourself. I had a long talk with my mom after our last disagreement. I told how I really want a close relationship and how much I love her but she cannot take advantage of me. She understood and we both have been doing well since then. I also had to promise to start treating her like the mom rather than someone who didn't know what she was doing. I didn't realize I was doing that but she was right, I was.

Sometimes things like this happen to teach us better ways to do things. I am sure she's not scared. She may be feeling the same guilt you are.