doody I don't think there's a one of us who hasn't felt that way at sometime or another in this life. What I generally do when I am wishing I were dead, is pm Lara, who always picks me up and makes me feel better. Why don't you pm me and we'll see if I can "say" the right thing when you need it. just because you don't tell me how you feel, doesn't mean I don't suspect it. I love you.