I am sorry and understand the ups and downs and the frustration as well. I am trying to take one day at a time too and focus on what I can do to get through it in the best possible way. This is of course way easier said then done like you said but a work in progress. I do believe in people who truly have hope and want to get better like you say to really progress and like the doctors told you be a miracle. Hold to hope that things can get better. You never know what may be your miracle so to speak in treatment etc. I live alone as well but have less full of a plate then you. I wonder if you have someone you can ask to help you in duties you have?