Holly, I have been where you are. I have questioned everything I did with my dad. Was I hurting him? Was I doing enough? Was it mean to laugh when he was talking with other people who were not there?

Someone told us when Dad got sick with Alzheimers, you can either laugh through this illness or cry. We chose to laugh.

You brought your grandmother home, to be by loved ones at the end. That is a tremendous act of love.

My dad passed away last Wednesday.
When I chose to put my job on hold and stay with Daddy, I worried if I was doing the right thing. Now, I know it was.

When you talk about your grandmother talking to people or constantly wanting to go to the bathroom, I have to laugh.
My dad talked to everyone imaginable. He even taught my sister and I how to set up a BBQ. Step by step instructions. He talked for over an hour. Explaining which store to buy the meat at. Which butcher to talk too.
I mean down to the last detail. Then at the end he said "Now, push in your chairs and thank you"
He was teaching a class, somewhere back in his past.
I busted out laughing.

He told me one day that His aunt called him Dale. Another aunt called him Dale. Most people called him Dale. A cousin called him Dale until he was older and then she called him Dalford.(that was his middle name)
He went on to tell me someone called him Jim. Another person called him James. He said but most people called him Dale, except when they called him Turdhead.

OMG, I thought I would pee my pants laughing.

He also begged us to let him up to go to the bathroom. We had to put the urinal between his legs, so he would think he was going. He had to fight to keep him in the bed when he needed a commode.

You know what? I would have taken all that back, when he got quiet.

The last two weeks, he was suddenly quiet. I don't think he could speak anymore. I am pretty sure he was blind the last two weeks.
He began to sleep.

It seemed too quiet then. All there was to do then was wait.
Cherish the time she is talking out of her head. She is reliving parts of her life. You get to learn more about her.

Holly, you will not fully understand until she passes, but you have done the right thing. You made all the right decisions. You will cherish the time you had with her.

DAY