Faith - I am kind of taking time off here and there. I am blessed that my DH is a restaurant manager and works a lot of nights, so he is home during the day when I am at work like right now. On days when he works early, I have to either take off or work from home.

Day - I am so sorry you lost your dad, but also glad his struggle is over. He is at peace, but now you and your relatives have to find some peace here without him. That is the hard part for those that are still here. It is a mix of feelings (relief, grief, depression, etc.). I went through that when my mom died of cancer not quite 3 years ago.

You are so right about the laughing and the talking versus the silence. I have had moments where I busted out laughing, too. We have just really hit the silent part and I don't know what to do or how to act.

The last couple of days, she isn't answering anymore even when she is awake. She sleeps most of the time, but the scary part is when she is awake and seems distressed, but can't tell me what is going on. I think she is losing her vision, too, just like your dad.

Joelle - I will try and give you a call soon.



Last night, she was sleeping a lot, so I took my laptop into her room and played on Facebook for a long time so I was there with her. Everyone says to talk to her and read to her and things like that even when she is out of it, but I just have trouble with that. I am just not able to do that without losing it and I don't think it will help her to have me sitting there sobbing. So, we are just in there a lot and the kids come in and out and talk to me and say hi to her. She doesn't respond, but sometimes will open her eyes.

Every morning, I get up amazed that she is still alive. She has had virtually no nutrition for a long time now. We had to unhook the feeding pump a week or so ago as she became unable to tolerate the continuous feeding through the tube. They told us to just do comfort foods and to push some of the enteral nutrition liquid into the tube from time to time. She became quickly unable to handle the feedings and the last time she was able to even eat some ice cream was a couple of days ago.