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Do what's right for you. Grieve in your own way, not someone else's.
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Although as a survivor of suicide you may never fully recover and always feel a loss, you can learn how to cope better and eventually move forward in a way that's healthy.
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The future after your loved one's suicide
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But eventually, the raw intensity will fade. The tragedy of the suicide won't dominate your days and nights. Perhaps you'll find meaning and purpose in activism, or you'll begin recalling moments from happier times and smile to yourself. Understanding the complicated legacy of suicide and how to cope with palpable grief can help you reach inner peace and healing, without forgetting your loved one.
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http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/suicide/MH00048