Today started out better. I didn't cry nearly as much. I didn't have to go to the funeral home to discuss arrangements and sign papers (definite plus). The kids, my SIL and I went to the Olive Garden where DH is a manager and ate lunch. Then, reality hit. I came home to let the guy in from the medical equipment place so he could take all the equipment out of here. Her room seems so empty now.

I know it seems so soon, but my 12 year old son wants to move back into that room (it was his before Grandma moved out here last year). Since it doesn't bother him, I'm going to let him go ahead right away. I can't handle walking past that room and having it be empty.

Last night I stood in the doorway and cried. The bed was empty, the oxygen machine was silent, and it was just so sad. I felt like I should go sit in there and watch TV with her. While she was still alert, we watched TV together in there. The last few days, I was in there a lot watching TV and on the laptop while she slept.

If Michael moves back in, there will be life and energy in there again. I think she would want that. I think I need that.