Jim,
this is just a thought, but is it possible for you to engage your wife's family?
That would be like phone calls, get a feel for what they're going through in this tragedy?
Then, maybe (I don't know how close ya'll live to one another) even stopping in for a visit, then, get your wife to go with you?
I suppose that, you reaching out on the phone would be the first step.
But, one step at a time.

I'm not telling you what to do, like I said, just a thought...

It's clear that you're concerned, and a fine man / husband!
I wish the best for you.
And, your wife!

pete
asb