Welcome Jen
The thing I can suggest you is, try to live day, by day... well, if you can minute by minute even better... avoid thinking "oh... 10 more years with this..." Try to think: "Right now, I have this, and feel like this.... but the next minute, I can start to feel better..."
Always do what you feel you need (WAIT ! Im not talking about suicide...) I mean, if you need a nap, take it... if you need to cry, cry... if you want a chocolate, eat it... right now is the only thing that matters...
Step by step...
Im sure you will find great friends here.
Come here, talk... that helps A LOT. Trust me.