Thread: I am new and don't know if this is where I can post!
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Old 05-12-2009, 07:42 PM
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Nik-key Nik-key is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: NH
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15 yr Member
Nik-key Nik-key is offline
Senior Member
Nik-key's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: NH
Posts: 1,733
15 yr Member
Heart
((Jen)) I am glad you found your way here As you can already tell from all the loving supportive post, this is a great group of people

I am truly sorry to hear of the pain and hopelessness you are feeling. Many of us here also know about anxiety and how difficult it can be to deal with. I am very glad you decided to meet with your therapist and will pray she is able to help you find some peace.

I was reading about how much you love and miss your grandmother.....Brought tears to my eyes. You also said, you didn't think she wants you to suffer, and that she would want you to find peace..... ((Jen)) I am sure these things are very true... But, I do not believe she would want you to find your peace through suicide.

I think it would bring more joy to her heart, and yours, if you could find a way to live in this world with love for YOURSELF. It made me so sad reading about how you feel you are not worthy, that you hate yourself..... You said you had to find a way to fix that.... how can I/we help you do that? You ARE worthy and I dare to venture you have family and friends who love you greatly.

Like ((Alffe)) I also lost someone I greatly love to suicide. My Dad took his life last year. It hurts as nothing ever has. It hurt so badly I wanted to die so I could be with him. Suicide isn't the answer. All it does is spread the pain to those left behind.

This might seems harsh, but it is NOT meant to hurt you, only to make you try to think from another view point Think about how much you miss your grandmother... then try to think about ALL the people who love you. Your family who may not always understand you, but who I assure you, do love you greatly!!! Please, don't take yourself from them, don't make them miss you......

You have been fighting these thoughts for years. The strength and courage it took just to post here shows you are a survivor! Don't give up, keep searching for the tools and help you need to keep fighting. Keep reaching out ((Jen))... that is the answer. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers, Nikki
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Alffe (05-14-2009), barbo (05-16-2009), Brokenfriend (05-12-2009), DMACK (05-13-2009), gardengrl (05-12-2009), Jen29 (05-12-2009), Lara (05-12-2009), mistiis (05-12-2009), pono (05-13-2009)