You have your whole life ahead of you,and things will get better. I'm sorry that you are going through a ruff time.

What I do is read the Psalms in the Bible,and things like that. It brings much comfort to me.

Take one step at a time. I thought that I was the only person in the world who had these phobias,dreads,and depression. I had a hard time getting help at first.

Did you see that movie,"What about Bob"? When I saw that movie I realized that I truly wasn't the only one with phobias. Two people where taking in the movie,and Bill Murray said I have that too. Anyway I felt better after I saw that movie.

There is also a National Phobia Society. There's ton's of information out there now.

My family is not very friendly to me either. They don't understand,and they give up. The thing is you probably inherited the phobia trait from your dad's side of the family,or your mothers. It may go back several generations.

Remember. One day at a time. BF