((Tammy)) I blame it on being the middle child
It is such a good feeling to let go and just know you can't be all things to all people. You can't, and it is futile to even try.
((Lara)) Hope you don't mind, but I moved your reply here....
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Do please remember that you are the child, Nikki. He was your father. You are not responsible. Same as I wasn't responsible for my own mother's death from cancer, although I spent so much time and energy blaming myself for her death. Heck, I was just a baby. I was not responsible. I can clearly and catagorically say that now, but for a while in my 20's I went through a period of time where I put it all on myself.
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I still at time do blame myself. If only I had gone to see him that week. If only I had told him I loved him with more feeling... if only.. if only. It did little to help me when my step mom and sister kept saying he was always at his happiest when you were with him....You could always make him smile.... ACCCCK . talk about drowning in guilt.
But no, I am not responsible....."For had I been responsible, this death would not have occurred. " *sigh